Since having kids, Jan and I have struggled to find time for just the two of us. Our best moments alone often consist of quick meals in a parking lot. As much as we wanted to travel as frequently as before, it wasn’t in our cards to travel this year because, as I mentioned in my previous post, we had already set aside our travel funds for next year’s family trip. Just think about booking a trip for five—it’s like setting your wallet on fire!

So when the chance to fly to Bangkok for free came up, I jumped at it without hesitation.

Jan and I have full-time jobs and we've never had a yaya or a house help ever since. You can probably imagine how deliriously happy I've been to leave deadlines and the chaos behind, and be free of parenting duties for a few days. I know that sounds bad but I also know we deserve this break.

I was unable to blog about our 5th wedding anniversary, which also marked our 10th year together—something I do every year—because I was too busy writing another piece. I thought I could go back to blogging once I finish my long-ass essay. 

But 19 pages later, I try to avoid anything that exerts mental effort.

So again, to let everyone know that I am still alive (even though nobody gives an eff), here's another one from the drafts. I wrote this around 2021, and it still rings true to this day.

I do the flexing mostly online. On the other hand, Jan isn't digitally expressive but instead does it in front of people. There have been countless of times whenever I meet his friends or officemates for the first time that I get surprised at how much they already know about me, my job, skills, talents, and even this blog. "Ah ikaw pala si Sarah. Lagi kang kinukwento ni Jan sa amin." Or sometimes Jan would go like this in front of me and the people we've just met, "She blogs. Magaling yan magsulat. Madami na yan siyang awards natanggap." Sometimes gusto ko na lang magpalamon sa lupa kasi he's exaggerating and nakakahiya. 😅 But it does feel good when someone speaks highly of you. 😉

For this year's year-end post, Jan takes the center stage. Again.

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It was around January this year when I noticed one of my fingers started swelling. I thought it was just a simple case of a sprained finger. But one inflamed finger led to another, until I could not twist open a bottle of water anymore. Five of my fingers looked like sausages. Both my wrists have become inflamed too. Of course, I had it checked and I was initially diagnosed with Reactive Arthritis.

Aside from the corticosteroids that I am taking which have nasty effects on my mood and weight, I was also on strong painkillers albeit, at most, they can only reduce pain—still leaving my hands in their most useless state. I could not drive. I had a hard time putting my clothes on. Heck, I could not even open the door on my own. It was that painful. And it went on like that for 6 months. It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed and I am still in pain right now, but not as much as I was back then.

Needless to say, Jan is the one doing almost everything. 

Picture this. He starts his day early in the morning to drive Rhett to school and he'll end the day putting our toddlers to sleep (back then, their bed time was at 12mn). His working hours are flexible. So as a team lead, it could also mean he can have multiple meetings in a day that can start as early as 7am and go as late as 11pm. In between, he does most household chores. And even though he assumed being solely responsible for Chris (paligo, pakain, and all), he still helps me with Isabel. I am without a job right now and I could have made myself useful, but then I have to become an additional burden to him because he has to assist me with anything that would require my hands. We have no yaya or house help.

I know he is exhausted (an understatement). But I have never, not once, heard him complain. Never nanumbat o nagparinig. If anything, he'll just throw me a hug, give me a massage, surprise me with any food that will make me feel better, and even encourage me to attend media events or go out with friends. Siya na yung pagod, pero ako pa rin unang iniisip niya.

I suppose a 50-50 marriage, on the surface, seems to make sense. You stay married because you are both putting the same amount of time and effort into the relationship. But with what's happening to us, I realized a 50-50 marriage doesn't always work. When you want to go the extra mile, 50-50 is definitely out of the equation.

Got this from Kryz Uy's post. I find it a bit relatable (except the being wealthy part), so I thought I'd do the same.

4 years later...

Our marriage so far:

• bought a small home (applied in 2017 but it was turned over a few months after our wedding)
  
• traveled as married couple
• had a baby boy
• learned learning the ropes of parenting
• got a small lot in Samal Island (we'll probably build a little cottage there in the future)
• got one more house and lot
• had a baby girl
• traveled as family
• stayed in love

I know it's already a week late for this. But just in case you are wondering if Jan and I are still okay because I have not posted anything on our anniversary—which is very unusual because I do it every single year—yes, we are okay. Very much okay.

It's just that, I TOTALLY forgot about the date. When Jan greeted me, my first reaction was, "was that today?" Haha. I am always the bad guy in this relationship. Plus, I did not have a single second to spare to write about it.

2021 took so many twists and turns. But despite the grey skies that have been looming since 2020 that honestly seems like a hundred years ago, there have been those little ray of lights that seeped through from time to time. And as this year comes to a close, I would like to express my gratitude to all the people and the small wins that helped me get where I currently am: happy and contented.

I am and will always grateful for having a loving family (including my in-laws), my maka-ugtas but adorable sons (plus our baby girl on the way), supportive friends, and the selfless frontliners among others. But for this post, I am giving the spotlight to the husband, Jan.

I know, I know. If I write about him one more time, makasuka na. But I cannot help it. Taking care of a toddler while pregnant, losing my passion, unable to travel and destress, and having no job to keep me preoccupied during this pandemic would make me lose my shit. But I didn't. And that's mostly because of him.

So here are 21 reasons why I am grateful to the husband who makes my life happier, easier, and sweeter:

1. He chose me. He always chooses me first. And I know he would choose me over anything or anyone over and over again.

2. He makes situations a little harder on himself in hopes that it makes them easier for me. Like how he gets up in the middle of the night to put our baby back to sleep and drags himself to work the next day. Or how he does the laundry, washes the dishes, or cleans the house just so I can rest (and without complaints at that).

3. He is so protective of our family. I mean, not just physically. I feel secured and sheltered from verbal attacks, criticisms, and judgment from other people, should there be any. He's the type who would avoid conflicts at any cost but I have seen him bravely speak up when the situation calls for it.

4. He patiently puts up with things that I like that do not interest him. Books I have read, Harry Potter, football, and even Pinoy showbiz. Likewise, I pretend to understand stuff he can't stop yapping about. Boxing/MMA, NBA, DotA2, or Astrophysics. 😁

5. He is a very good provider. He works hard. But even so, he can make time to take me out on a date even if it means just doing errands together or eating takeout at a parking lot.

Nevermind his butas-butas shirt.