Since having kids, Jan and I have struggled to find time for just the two of us. Our best moments alone often consist of quick meals in a parking lot. As much as we wanted to travel as frequently as before, it wasn’t in our cards to travel this year because, as I mentioned in my previous post, we had already set aside our travel funds for next year’s family trip. Just think about booking a trip for five—it’s like setting your wallet on fire!

So when the chance to fly to Bangkok for free came up, I jumped at it without hesitation.

Jan and I have full-time jobs and we've never had a yaya or a house help ever since. You can probably imagine how deliriously happy I've been to leave deadlines and the chaos behind, and be free of parenting duties for a few days. I know that sounds bad but I also know we deserve this break.

I was unable to blog about our 5th wedding anniversary, which also marked our 10th year together—something I do every year—because I was too busy writing another piece. I thought I could go back to blogging once I finish my long-ass essay. 

But 19 pages later, I try to avoid anything that exerts mental effort.

So again, to let everyone know that I am still alive (even though nobody gives an eff), here's another one from the drafts. I wrote this around 2021, and it still rings true to this day.

I do the flexing mostly online. On the other hand, Jan isn't digitally expressive but instead does it in front of people. There have been countless of times whenever I meet his friends or officemates for the first time that I get surprised at how much they already know about me, my job, skills, talents, and even this blog. "Ah ikaw pala si Sarah. Lagi kang kinukwento ni Jan sa amin." Or sometimes Jan would go like this in front of me and the people we've just met, "She blogs. Magaling yan magsulat. Madami na yan siyang awards natanggap." Sometimes gusto ko na lang magpalamon sa lupa kasi he's exaggerating and nakakahiya. 😅 But it does feel good when someone speaks highly of you. 😉

For this year's year-end post, Jan takes the center stage. Again.

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It was around January this year when I noticed one of my fingers started swelling. I thought it was just a simple case of a sprained finger. But one inflamed finger led to another, until I could not twist open a bottle of water anymore. Five of my fingers looked like sausages. Both my wrists have become inflamed too. Of course, I had it checked and I was initially diagnosed with Reactive Arthritis.

Aside from the corticosteroids that I am taking which have nasty effects on my mood and weight, I was also on strong painkillers albeit, at most, they can only reduce pain—still leaving my hands in their most useless state. I could not drive. I had a hard time putting my clothes on. Heck, I could not even open the door on my own. It was that painful. And it went on like that for 6 months. It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed and I am still in pain right now, but not as much as I was back then.

Needless to say, Jan is the one doing almost everything. 

Picture this. He starts his day early in the morning to drive Rhett to school and he'll end the day putting our toddlers to sleep (back then, their bed time was at 12mn). His working hours are flexible. So as a team lead, it could also mean he can have multiple meetings in a day that can start as early as 7am and go as late as 11pm. In between, he does most household chores. And even though he assumed being solely responsible for Chris (paligo, pakain, and all), he still helps me with Isabel. I am without a job right now and I could have made myself useful, but then I have to become an additional burden to him because he has to assist me with anything that would require my hands. We have no yaya or house help.

I know he is exhausted (an understatement). But I have never, not once, heard him complain. Never nanumbat o nagparinig. If anything, he'll just throw me a hug, give me a massage, surprise me with any food that will make me feel better, and even encourage me to attend media events or go out with friends. Siya na yung pagod, pero ako pa rin unang iniisip niya.

I suppose a 50-50 marriage, on the surface, seems to make sense. You stay married because you are both putting the same amount of time and effort into the relationship. But with what's happening to us, I realized a 50-50 marriage doesn't always work. When you want to go the extra mile, 50-50 is definitely out of the equation.

Got this from Kryz Uy's post. I find it a bit relatable (except the being wealthy part), so I thought I'd do the same.

4 years later...

Our marriage so far:

• bought a small home (applied in 2017 but it was turned over a few months after our wedding)
  
• traveled as married couple
• had a baby boy
• learned learning the ropes of parenting
• got a small lot in Samal Island (we'll probably build a little cottage there in the future)
• got one more house and lot
• had a baby girl
• traveled as family
• stayed in love

I know it's already a week late for this. But just in case you are wondering if Jan and I are still okay because I have not posted anything on our anniversary—which is very unusual because I do it every single year—yes, we are okay. Very much okay.

It's just that, I TOTALLY forgot about the date. When Jan greeted me, my first reaction was, "was that today?" Haha. I am always the bad guy in this relationship. Plus, I did not have a single second to spare to write about it.

2021 took so many twists and turns. But despite the grey skies that have been looming since 2020 that honestly seems like a hundred years ago, there have been those little ray of lights that seeped through from time to time. And as this year comes to a close, I would like to express my gratitude to all the people and the small wins that helped me get where I currently am: happy and contented.

I am and will always grateful for having a loving family (including my in-laws), my maka-ugtas but adorable sons (plus our baby girl on the way), supportive friends, and the selfless frontliners among others. But for this post, I am giving the spotlight to the husband, Jan.

I know, I know. If I write about him one more time, makasuka na. But I cannot help it. Taking care of a toddler while pregnant, losing my passion, unable to travel and destress, and having no job to keep me preoccupied during this pandemic would make me lose my shit. But I didn't. And that's mostly because of him.

So here are 21 reasons why I am grateful to the husband who makes my life happier, easier, and sweeter:

1. He chose me. He always chooses me first. And I know he would choose me over anything or anyone over and over again.

2. He makes situations a little harder on himself in hopes that it makes them easier for me. Like how he gets up in the middle of the night to put our baby back to sleep and drags himself to work the next day. Or how he does the laundry, washes the dishes, or cleans the house just so I can rest (and without complaints at that).

3. He is so protective of our family. I mean, not just physically. I feel secured and sheltered from verbal attacks, criticisms, and judgment from other people, should there be any. He's the type who would avoid conflicts at any cost but I have seen him bravely speak up when the situation calls for it.

4. He patiently puts up with things that I like that do not interest him. Books I have read, Harry Potter, football, and even Pinoy showbiz. Likewise, I pretend to understand stuff he can't stop yapping about. Boxing/MMA, NBA, DotA2, or Astrophysics. 😁

5. He is a very good provider. He works hard. But even so, he can make time to take me out on a date even if it means just doing errands together or eating takeout at a parking lot.

Nevermind his butas-butas shirt.

It has been thirteen years since I got myself a brand new phone. It died on me five years later and ever since, I lived with hand-me-downs and secondhand phones. 

I wouldn't say I am a technophobe. But let it be known that I am one of those people who is totally unconcerned about using a primitive phone. 

While everyone nowadays is carrying an iPhone 12 or a Samsung S21, I still have this oldie but goodie S7—which was actually just a test device from Jan's previous work. You could say that it's pretty used when I had it, and most probably, it was a refurbished unit. But it was awesome. It does the job. So I didn't mind. 

I remember back when I was a pacool kid, I avoided getting rickrolled like plague. I don't like the idea of falling for a trick where I end up watching a video of a little white guy with a big black voice and his terrible dancing. But now? I seek it out and willingly rickroll myself to enjoy the whole three minutes and thirty-three seconds breather before heading back to being sucked into an endless spiral of mindless social media scrolling. 

I got my new driver's license today. After one year and eight months of marriage, I finally have a valid ID bearing my husband's name. 

Honestly, I could have just waited one more year to have my license revised and renewed at once (would have saved me time and money). But I think I've done enough waiting. I am excited to get slightly annoyed at people misspelling or misreading my new name—which, to no surprise, happened earlier at the licensing office. It's A-T-E-R-R-A-D-O. Not Atterado. Not Alterado. And definitely, not Alternado. It is, however, a hassle I can live with for the rest of my life.

On a serious note, we have acquired properties and signed legal documents with OUR family name because I don't want to go through all the hassle of presenting our marriage certificate every time just to prove that we are already married.

Pre-Covid days. At Samal Island, surveying our hacienda to be. Hehe ☺

Today, I woke up to Jan hugging me as he whispered, "May the 4th be with us."


I gave out a smile. "What a silly way to greet Happy Anniversary," I thought. But a warm feeling washed over me and suddenly, it didn’t feel silly anymore. I hugged back, kissed him on the lips, and closed my eyes. 

Never in my wildest dreams did I ever think of going to South Korea for a honeymoon (it has always been Batanes). I mean, we did plan about it but that's only because we unexpectedly snagged round trip tickets for two for only Php 8,400+.

But that plan to spend honeymoon in Korea in autumn was cancelled because our visas were delayed. So we pushed going there on winter. The cheapest tickets were already at Php 24,000+ round trip for two. But we gave it a go because first, after almost two months of waiting (yes, it took that long), we only got a single entry visa; second, I am pregnant. We would rather travel now because we might not have the time, energy, and resources to do it in the next three years.

This is the most expensive ticket we booked for an international flight but I'm glad Korea did not disappoint. This trip was a string of our many firsts. First out-of-the-country trip as married couple. First below zero degree weather. First snow fall. First fresh cherries. First pomegranate. First time to take photos of us kissing (that's not our wedding). Woot!

PDA. Haha!

It has been a week since our wedding books arrived and I cannot get over it. I've already wasted hours flipping the pages and ogling at the same thing for days, and it still was not enough.

I can't help it. Our wedding is no doubt one of the best days of my life and that is probably because it was then when I have seen Jan do a dirty dance in front of me in public. You might be wondering what's the big deal about that? Well, he doesn't know how to dance, he was not drunk but he did it anyway because men do things they don't do even if it looks silly in the name of love, don't they? Haha!

Anyway, here's a flip through of our beautiful wedding book:

"How does it feel like?"

"Nothing has really changed," I said flatly.

"Wait until the honeymoon phase is over."

I have been asked this question over and over again for weeks now and I have been repeating my answer with the same flat face. And it is not because I am less enthusiastic about it. It is just that, I do not want to engage in a conversation and delve into details about the brutal truths I wished somebody told me about before getting married.

Right after the wedding, Jan and I started working our arses off (pitiful, I know). We were not able to plan a honeymoon because the Japan trip happened. And as much as we would have loved to make Batanes our honeymoon destination, we are holding that off. You see, I won a round trip domestic flight ticket. And knowing that a one-way ticket to Batanes could cost as much as a round trip flight to a few Southeast Asian countries, I am hoping I could use that free flight for it.

Anyway, it has been a month since the wedding and we haven't really planned on anything. That, however, does not mean that a honeymoon is not bound to happen. It might come a little late but at least, it’s going to be in a beautiful country.

When Jan and I planned our wedding, we agreed to keep it simple because it reflects who we are individually and as a couple. And also, truthfully, we're on a tight budget.

But we all know that even the simplest weddings can burn a huge chunk of money—in a blink of an eye at that. Budget was a big deal for us. And since we splurged on travel and made a trip to Japan just a little over a month before the wedding (hashtag that, priorities hehe), we decided to scrimp on some wedding details.

Don't get us wrong. We want our wedding day to be special. It's just that, extravagance isn't really our cup of tea.

The succeeding posts in this blog would most probably be all about our wedding because, honestly, I have not gotten over it yet. Our wedding is nothing short of amazing. It is magical but it's real. It's simple but it's the best. It's cheap (by current standards) but it's definitely full of love.

Here's the same-day edit video made by Love Dot Date Production. I love everything about it and it melts my heart every time I hear Jan's vows.

Jan and I visited our future home yesterday and we're so happy about the progress.

See?

Knowing how real estate development works here, one could say that that's a lot of progress.

#TeamNoLigo

Haha. I'm really looking forward to the day we move in because finally *drum roll* I will have a custom bookshelf/mini library! But before I start with anything for our home, I still have a wedding to plan. We haven't made a lot of progress and we only have four months! And what's worse, I still have to decide which five out of a hundred wedding DIY ideas are realistic enough for me to actually attempt to do.

May the gods of patience and creativity be ever in my favor.

P.S. Hey Chronos, please bestow me with a lot of time too because I'm also having Japanese lessons in between.

So it's been four years and I'm trying to come up with a decent entry for this day. I think I'm done with these cheesy posts after the Avengers: Infinity War left me feeling so empty because Loki died in the first ten minutes of the movie (I don't care if you'd kill me for that spoiler. I'm already dead inside).

Anyway, since today is our fourth anniversary (I still won't post anything cheesy but),  I'll leave you with something that could be quite intriguing, perhaps eyebrow-raising, and just might give you a wee bit of a shock. Here's a little confession: I made the first move.

Here's how we've been spending our weekends:

Somewhere cold and at least 1,000ft above sea level.

And most probably, the incoming weekends too.

I feel giddy whenever Jan sends me an email because it only means one thing: travel. Last week, he told me to check my email, and tada! Grinning from ear to ear, I immediately replied with the most excited word one could ever read: Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaas! This guy never fails to surprise me. He said he's been eyeing on it for a long time and when he finally had the chance, he proceeded to book even without my knowledge.