Scenario at the vaccination site: 

Kuya assistant: "Diri ang mga buntis."

And he guided every pregnant woman out of the queue but me. 

I sat up straight to force my tummy out a little, in case it wasn't still obvious. 

Then he went on calling for more pregos but skipping me every time. It happened three times. 

Frustrated, I was about to raise my hand to present myself when the lady guard approached and asked, "buntis ka maam?" (are you, pregnant, maam?)

"Dili maam, bitokon ra jud ko." (No, maam. I'm just bloated) unsa diay ang bitokon sa English ui?!

Of course, those words never made it out of my mouth. 

I politely answered, "yes, maam." And from there, everything went smoothly and I was done in less than 30 minutes. 👏👏👏

Well, I am just thinking that they're trying to be polite to never assume a woman is pregnant. But how big should a tummy be to look legitimately pregnant just so I can take advantage of priority lanes? 😅