Confessions of a Newly Married Woman

"How does it feel like?"

"Nothing has really changed," I said flatly.

"Wait until the honeymoon phase is over."

I have been asked this question over and over again for weeks now and I have been repeating my answer with the same flat face. And it is not because I am less enthusiastic about it. It is just that, I do not want to engage in a conversation and delve into details about the brutal truths I wished somebody told me about before getting married.

Kidding!

I understand the curiosity. I understand the sense of intrigue whenever couples get married. Because I did, too. And since this blog does not require me to open my mouth and maintain eye-to-eye contact that would make me and the other party feel pretty awkward and uncomfortable, I would like to share, once and for all, how it feels like for me to be newly married. Here goes...

1. It is a pain in the ass to change the last name.
Not only that I have to get used to a really long name (from a 2-syllable to 4-syllable last name), but I know that I will not simply walk out of the City's Civil Registrars Office carrying my new last name that will simultaneously and magically appear on all my valid IDs and bank accounts.

Changing my name would mean going through the same frustrating, lengthy, and time-wasting ordeal I experienced the first time I applied for these. I am not really prepared for such massive headache. Until my driver's license and passport expire (that will be at least 2 years from now), I might still be carrying the same name I have the last 33 years.

And oh, don't get me started with the inevitable spelling correction every time I utter my new last name. No L. Only one T. And double R. Jan goes through that ordeal. Every. Single. Time.

2. I deal with louder (and unending) farts this time.
I have already seen this coming. But enduring fart bombs happens on a daily basis now and I do not have any other choice but to hold on to the new discoveries of Science: smelling farts has health benefits, studies show. Ugh.

(Fear not. I can be as vile too.)

3. We disagree on the littlest things.
Five years in a relationship together and we only fought thrice (it was more like a drama caused by hormone overdrive than a fight). We rarely ever have arguments and disagreements—if anything, it is about Science, Math, or Logic (I am not a geek. He is. I just mess up with him most of the time). Now, we "fight" over the most ridiculous things like the right way of squeezing a toothpaste tube or who gets out of the bed to turn off the lights. Haha!

4.  Add to Cart is now a thing of the past.
We both have incomes. That means we can buy whatever the hell we want. But ever since marrying, we consult each other first before buying anything (even the smallest items) and most of the time, we end up not buying things we do not really need. No more online shopping frenzy for me, which is a good thing. And no, he is not controlling me in any way (my salary is mine and his salary is also shared with me haha).

We both do not come from a well-off family. We have not inherited anything from our folks aside from the good looks (yes, absolutely grateful for good genes haha). So staying away from online shopping is the least I can do to help him financially, especially when we both have goals of building an empire and conquering the world.

5. He becomes my "I-am-outta-here" card.
We already reached the point that Friday nights mean being cozy in bed while watching Netflix together. I was once asked to join an after-party party but I refused and made our "date night" (which is actually not doing anything together) an excuse. Haha. #TheSnuggleIsReal

Other than that, marriage did not feel all that different from being in a relationship. Except, he is much sweeter, and I am less messy and lazy now. Haha. Compromise became our middle name. And being married, I realized what a true gesture of love really is. I do not expect candle light dinners and rose petal-covered pathway leading to a grander surprise. Instead, he does these seemingly insignificant things that I am truly grateful for each day.

6. I wake up to tight hugs and random kisses.
This. Need I say more?

7. He prepares breakfast so I can sleep in.
There were times when I had to work late at night, I would find him preparing the breakfast and even feeding the demanding cat early in the morning so I can sleep in.

And with that,

8. I can inadvertently throw unwanted chores to him.
I could not be any more thankful for having a husband like him. He would voluntarily do the household chores when he knows I have a lot on my plate despite him being busy as well.

9. My sleep pattern changed.
I used to have an unhealthy sleeping habit. I go to bed at around 2am and wake up at around 6am daily. But now that I have someone to share the bed with who has an early bedtime, I could get at least 6 hours of sleep daily.

10. We are each other's home.
I believe the best thing about being married is having someone to come home to after a really long day. When I have a frustrating task at work and I start unleashing the inner beast in me, he throws in a random hug or gives me a forehead and back massage. Not that it makes my work less frustrating, but it makes me feel a hundred times better. And the same goes with him. I want him to know that when he has a bad day, he can always find comfort in me.

To be honest, I'm pretty scared that the start of our marriage sounds almost perfect. But wait until the honeymoon phase is over, they say. Wait until you are married for a year. Wait until the seven-year itch. Wait until the twelve-year mark. Wait until yadda yadda. Apparently, we are not yet married long enough to know what exactly should we wait for. But to me, these are discouraging remarks that I often hear as if the fate of all marriages' impending doom is sealed.

We know nothing about marriage and we know we still have a lot to learn. We know we will not always get things right, but we are striving to become a better spouse to each other. And while it is true that I am no marriage guru, I believe it is never the fancy and romantic gestures nor the biggest fight you have trumped that make or break the marriage. It is always these day-to-day, simple and small acts of kindness and selflessness you do for each other that create the biggest impact.

Why am I writing all of these? From day 1 of our friendship to being in a relationship to our marriage and up to this day, everything is light and breezy. Being together taught us that love shouldn't feel like hard work. But if things will inevitably not go as how we always want it to be—one year, five years, or maybe ten years from now (heaven knows when)—everything that is written here in this blog will serve as a reminder of our great start and our commitment to each other. And also, I am writing this because I simply want the world to know how blessed and favored I am to be married to a smart, kind-hearted, sweet, thoughtful, responsible, and loving man.

Maswerte talaga ako sa napangasawa ko. :)