I Have Been Weak

Do you know how it is to agonize over shoes? I know. Because I did. And it was silly.

There is this pair of shoes that I totally have a crush on. I already bought a pair of sneakers (the same brand) last March, a pair of sandals, loafers, and boots last July. Having another footwear that I barely even use because I don't go out of the house often is not practical. But I really want it so badly that I have repeatedly scoured a few online websites for weeks, only to die a little bit inside each time I see they don't have my size. I told myself bitterly that maybe those shoes are not meant for me.

I decided to just totally forget about it and move on. After all, there's nothing like having an epic epiphany to slap me in the face and remind me of the things I need to save for. Hoy, may incoming trips ka pa, Sarah! Tigil mo na yan.



Yesterday, Jan and I bought tickets to watch Patay Na Si Hesus but since we still have an hour to kill before the movie starts, we decided to do some window shopping.

We entered Onitsuka Tiger and it was the first thing I saw. I've only seen it in pictures but it was even more beautiful in person. I tried it on immediately but it was a tad bigger for me.

Me: Excuse me kuya, do you have a size smaller than this?
Salesman: Smallest na po yung display.

Ouch. Heartbroken ulit. Di talaga sya para sa akin.

Salesman: Maam, gusto nyo pong kunin ko yung pares nya para masubukan nyo?
Me: Wag na kuya, baka matempt lang ako. (in my mind: baka bilhin ko pa kahit di magkasya)

Then he disappeared and came back a few minutes later carrying a box of shoes, sporting an evil grin like he knows it's going to be a good day for him.

Salesman: Maam may size 5 po kami! (They come in men's size, which is equivalent to women's 7)

(Cue the music) Tukso, Layuan Mo Akoooooo

I slipped them on and they already feel so comfortable like they've been broken in. I sat down while my feet were still in it and carefully thought and pondered about it just so I can pretend it's not an impulsive buy. I must sacrifice some things if I want to have this pair. And what sacrifice it was. I'm not exactly Miss-Big-Spender. I don't buy makeups. I don't party. I don't have new clothes. I'm not big on fast food and overrated coffees. So the only thing I can sacrifice would be my *deep breath* dates with Jan (we do 50-50 and we splurge since we don't see each other as often as we'd want to).

I gave out a soft sigh, looked down, removed the shoes, carefully put it back in its box, and returned it to the salesman.

"Kuya, kukunin ko na po."

I flashed Jan a silly grin. And just before paying, buntong hininga ulit, pikit mata, the salesman blurted out,

"Maam, gusto nyo na po bang suotin?"

Deep inside I was like, "Ay lintek! Anong akala mo sa akin? Bata?" And also deep inside, I really wanted to wear it then and there. Maybe he saw Jan wearing the same shoes already and assumed I would want to sport a couple shoe with him. Or maybe he can sense my over excitement. Whatever that is, he knows I'm happy I'll be taking home a new pair of the most beautiful shoes I've ever had.

I just smiled and refused politely. Grabbed my shopping bag and went out of the store grinning from ear to ear. We watched Patay Na Si Jesus afterwards, which is so funny by the way. And oh, patay na rin wallet ko. Goodbye, 5,800!

I'm sorry, naging marupok ako. It's not really something worth blogging and bragging. I mean, these are not Valenciagas, Jimmy Choos, or Pradas (like I would wear something like that anyway). It's not even chic if you think about it. But look! It's just too pretty, I'm so in love with it I am willing to sacrifice sushi and sashimi, and even my time for Jan for this. Can you blame me? Haha.

I wore this for a couple of hours at home. Para talagang bata.

Wait, I'm already in my early 30s. Shouldn't I be blogging about realizations, life's lessons, parenting, or anything sensible like how a normal 30-something person should? I guess, I've never really figured out what it means to be an adult. So expect more posts as shallow (and childish) as this.