I used to be confident with my body. Back in college, I can wear whatever the hell I want. But of course, that doesn't mean I would go around in skimpy clothes. My wardrobe is still limited to jeans, shirt, and sneakers. But I can also pull off a bikini because, well, I had the body.
I was blessed with a great pair of boobies. I always get complimented for my even-toned morena skin despite living in a country where Snow White defined beauty. And yes, I will not deny that I have this beautiful mala-Aubrey Miles face (or at least, that's what most people think). Seriously.
Then pregnancy took all that away.
Hormones changed everything. From the way I look to my saggy boobs to my uneven skin tone to my dark and rough butt cheeks to my manly hands. Just like most people, I have body issues too. And as much as I want to be more accepting of what I have become, insecurity creeps in and kicks me real hard.
I love myself. I really do. But there's this naysayer in me who's always there to remind something is horribly wrong with me. Yes, I love myself but nobody knows I am struggling too. I think sometimes it takes more than just yourself to make you truly love yourself. I believe that by loving and being loved back and being accepted by someone for who you are, will you also begin to learn to love all that you are and the person you have become.
For the longest time, I've been scared. I've been too insecure. But the man who holds my heart told me I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN HIS EYES. And that simply changed everything.
I still have flawed, uneven, and dark skin. My buttocks are still dark and do get nasty tiny pimples from time to time. My boobies will never return to its former 34B glory. I can no longer turn heads like I used to. But you know what? I just told that girl in the mirror she looks great. And she believed in me.
I was blessed with a great pair of boobies. I always get complimented for my even-toned morena skin despite living in a country where Snow White defined beauty. And yes, I will not deny that I have this beautiful mala-Aubrey Miles face (or at least, that's what most people think). Seriously.
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| That's me in the middle. Circa 2003-ish. |
Then pregnancy took all that away.
Hormones changed everything. From the way I look to my saggy boobs to my uneven skin tone to my dark and rough butt cheeks to my manly hands. Just like most people, I have body issues too. And as much as I want to be more accepting of what I have become, insecurity creeps in and kicks me real hard.
I love myself. I really do. But there's this naysayer in me who's always there to remind something is horribly wrong with me. Yes, I love myself but nobody knows I am struggling too. I think sometimes it takes more than just yourself to make you truly love yourself. I believe that by loving and being loved back and being accepted by someone for who you are, will you also begin to learn to love all that you are and the person you have become.
For the longest time, I've been scared. I've been too insecure. But the man who holds my heart told me I AM THE MOST BEAUTIFUL WOMAN IN HIS EYES. And that simply changed everything.
I still have flawed, uneven, and dark skin. My buttocks are still dark and do get nasty tiny pimples from time to time. My boobies will never return to its former 34B glory. I can no longer turn heads like I used to. But you know what? I just told that girl in the mirror she looks great. And she believed in me.
You know you're slayin when you already gave birth and still have them abs. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm chubby borderline fat. But my husband always say I'm sexy and I believe in him. Sometimes the words of our significant others bring the greatest impact to us. Kaya kapag sinabi ni Jan na maganda ka, believe in him dahil maganda ka naman talaga. :)
At some point in our lives, even if we are sure we are the most beautiful human on earth, we still need to hear that from someone, specially from our boyfriends/husbands/partners/etc. That's how we are. I'm glad I found this blog. This is too honest and very relatable. I hope you win Traveloka's contest btw.
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