These are exactly the words I told myself a few years ago.

I have always been fascinated with street art. How they are a mystery. How they keep people in constant wonder. How and when did it effin come up here? What the hell does that mean? Who did it? Much more fascinated by how street artists can hide in plain sight like ninjas - except, they're not bound to spy or kill but sure they know their way around spray cans and brushes and make something alive with it.


Last February 27, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf (CBTL) launched Brew Your Best Masterpiece Davao leg in which people will get to learn about street art, unleash creativity and express self that aims to inspire people to become the best version of themselves through a public mural.

I was thrilled.

To be one of the few bloggers who were invited to this event was a humbling experience. It is something that I've always wanted to do. Miss it and I will have to wait another lifetime for another shot. Or do it some other time and end up in jail for an artwork that is not even worth looking.

The experience, though, was far from what I have expected. We were given two hours for this and half of it was spent trying to figure out what could be done and how should I do it. I wasn't creative enough. No, let me rephrase that. I wasn't creative. The other half was spent forcing my reluctant brain to send signals to my hand because my fine motor skills seemed dysfunctional at that moment.

Bottomline, it was not easy.

I had a hard time putting together the image that was on my mind. But I really like how it looked. It was awesome! I cannot tell you how awesome it was but I swear it's better than Da Vinci's or van Gogh's. Translating it to reality, however, is harder. Or should I say, impossible. Add to that those few passers-by wearing their most curious stupid faces.

I never really like it when people watch me while working on something. It feels like I am robbed off my freedom to do something ugly, boring, stupid or absurd - or anything I feel like doing.

And knowing that I am working with real artists didn't help either. What's a blogger/pseudo-artist who pride in vectors and pixels and relied on ctrl+z all the time doing here anyway? I shake my head.

But despite doing it for the first time, despite the onlookers with sneers that they couldn't keep for themselves, and despite feeling so small among the crowd of big artists... IT WAS INCREDIBLE.

I scaled a greater freedom I have not known before. I realised that aiming for the approval of others is like allowing them to dictate me what's beautiful and what's not. And it has kept me from expressing myself truly.

So screw everyone and their standards.

I made myself forget about the crowd, the artists, and the artwork per se. I focused on the experience, the feel, and the moment. And it has never been so liberating.

For the two hours that I had my hand stained with paint, I was convinced that I am a bad artist. Perhaps it's the most cringe-worthy-what-a-waste-of-space artwork you will see along with the amazing works of others, worthy of being scrubbed out or painted over. And I won't blame you if you think it's worse. But that's okay. In fact, I am proud of it because I did something I thought will remain a dream and did it even though I know I wouldn't nail it.

What I did may not mean anything to the world but to me, it made all the difference. It helped me become the best version of myself - to go beyond the fences I have set. Imagination is limitless but it can only mean a lot if you do something about it.

And yes, I'm still bad at painting, but at least I tried. :)