Black Dress, a Broken Lipstick, and a Night to Remember

As someone who doesn't wear make up, the most comforting words I'll ever hear from another woman are, "I don't know how to put a makeup on either."

Yes! I am still a woman after all. Haha!

The other day, I found new (still sealed) lipsticks in one of our drawers. It was from my papa, and mama said it was for me. I'm not really sure how long has it been sitting in there. But I tried it on anyway. I smoothed the lipstick on like a pro, 'cause it was as easy as putting a ChapStick. Then the next thing I know, one of my buck tooth's covered with red. And I broke the lipstick.

I'm an artist. I can make bad designs look good. This should be easy.

Right?

The company I'm working with will be having a Black and Gold Christmas Party tonight and almost everybody at work has been frantic about dolling up. I also thought of doing the same and resorted to watching DIY makeup videos on YouTube. Enter Michelle Phan, the queen of makeup tutorials who single-handedly saved half of the women in the world from looking like clowns and made putting on a makeup as easy as 1-2-3. The former is true, but the latter is a lie. The terms "stippling" or "overline" sounds too extraterrestrial for me. And "contouring" sounds like a 15th century torturing practice. Applying eyeliner is like making a first grader do high school algebra. It's too much for me that I got bored and stopped watching halfway through a basic 5-minute how-to video.

This is so sad. That was my only hope of learning how to put on a makeup and I couldn't even make it. The different (albeit they all look the same to me) shades of eye shadows and number of brushes terrify me. And I will never understand the difference between a primer, a foundation, and a concealer. I thought they were just construction terms.

This is exhausting. Beauty enhancement, you say? Thanks but no thanks. I'd rather keep it simple and real. And I'd like to point out that as much as I hate math, I love how women can be compared to algebraic expressions - they are more beautiful in their simplest form.

Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against women who wear make up (although I roll my eyes when I see people wearing make up at the gym. wtf right?!). I actually admire them for their patience and perseverance not to mention their artistic skills. Although I still do not understand how one can have large amounts of that, I actually hoped I had the same. But even if I did, I don't think I'd be willing to spend half of my paycheck for makeups when I can just spend them with a good sunblock or dri-fit for my next beach or hiking trip.

Anyway, I am wearing a simple yet elegant and classy (as Jan described it) black dress for tonight. And I know it's underwhelming knowing I'd only tie my hair up in pony tail and wear plain flat shoes (because I'll be dancing in front of the people, too). But if wearing a powder and a lip gloss counts as getting dolled up, then that's pretty much everything. Simple lang pero rock. \m/

Update:
Since I'm too lazy to make another blog post, here is the best picture I have at the party...