When I started blogging, I was only a college student who thought life was so full of shit (although I still think it is) that I blogged about how shitty and unfair life can get after stepping on a bubble gum with your brand new shoes. Half of the time I was ranting. And half of it, I was trying to make myself look good. My voice was soft, quiet, and dampened back then. I wasn't comfortable being myself. So I wrote only of the things I wanted the people to read because I was ashamed and afraid. I was afraid of rejection. I was afraid that people I don't even know would hate me. I was afraid that they may see me less of a person by my choice of words. I was careful with anything I wrote that hitting the publish button was a challenge.
Years passed and life became shittier than it was. It became so murky that I couldn't help but type my words to let the fog out and have some sense of clarity. It was hard for me to open up. Questions began to surface when I started showing the profound and "less edited" version of me. Questions that begin with what if. It's pretty amazing how the simple and innocent words What and If - which are perfectly harmless on their own - can become really catastrophic when combined. It's like a bomb that when dropped would make me go back scampering inside my shell. What if people will judge me for this? What if they'll think I'm like this or that? What if it's not good enough? It was a war between me and my inhibitions. A struggle to survive the pangs of truth.
Truth is, blogging makes you vulnerable. And it's not easy to become wounded and let people sprinkle you with salt.
It is one way of opening yourself up to public scrutiny. You would occasionally find yourself the target of judgment, criticism, and unsolicited advice. People will begin to question your opinion, decisions, or principles. And most of the time, they can be vile, ruthless, and they show no tact. You can get bashed, flamed, ridiculed, or trolled for genuinely expressing yourself. You can be misunderstood. And unfortunately, this ordeal is inevitable.
But with this continuing struggle, I've seen the power and beauty of vulnerability in blogging. For years of posting and trying to be as genuine as I can, I didn't know that by opening myself to others, I was making a difference. It was unbelievable that having the courage to post something dismal or something most of us wouldn't dare tell anyone can draw admiration worthy of virtual pats on the back. Mistakes I've made. Things I've done that I'm not proud of. Bad life-changing decisions. Shares of failure. And those moments I wish I've never been through. Showing the authentic self not only made me realize that I wasn't alone but it served as a bridge to reach out to others, to truly touch or inspire another. It creates a connection because you're giving away more than just the facade. You present yourself as a human, capable of being wounded, just like the others.
I have embraced vulnerability. But that doesn't mean my shame and fears have all gone away. It never will. I'd be lying if I say I am not scared. But I'd rather be vulnerable, put myself out there and be seen as a human being than dodge the blows and stand behind a mask of lies (which then defeats the purpose of a blog). If there's one thing I learned about being vulnerable is that you can be hated not for who you are but for the vision people have of you. And none of that will really matter. Being vulnerable is not always a pleasant experience but as long as I am alive and breathing then I will stay vulnerable. Because being vulnerable builds a gentle and quite breeze of freedom inside. And trust me, it can never feel so right.
So be vulnerable. Love like you've never been hurt. Dance like nobody's watching. And write like no one's reading.
32 Comments
Great article. I can relate to a lot that you've written. :)
ReplyDeleteSo true. I much prefer a blog that is 'real' than one that's all happy and full of gloss - as we know life isn't always glossy and fun!
ReplyDeleteI never thought about it but its true. Blogging does make you vulnarable.
ReplyDeleteI totally agree with you. Your blog is yours and for this reason it reflects you and who you are. It is impossible talking about happy things if you're not in the mood for it... it wouldn't be true.
ReplyDeleteI started blogging 3 years ago and its a learning process for me. Your right its makes you vulnerable, and I know that my grammar is not even close to being right but I still do it. It's fun and I learn a lot of things. Cheers Sis
ReplyDeletewww.sweetcuisinera.com
That's good to hear, sis. We can learn a lot from blogging. And yes, don't let those grammar nazis bring you down. Just keep blogging. :)
DeleteI feel like blogging more openly and more professionally has really made me feel more and more vulnerable. I have been so scared in the past to have people photograph me or pose for photos of my outfits but I quickly realized that I have to GET OVER the fear in order to do what I love. Because of that, I feel more proud now than I ever have.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for this article!
Brittany,
http://www.hearditthroughtheirvine.com
How I see it from your blog, yes, you should be proud of yourself. :)
DeleteThis was so powerful and honest. That's what I think you're trying to get at here, and that's what I and many other bloggers love to read about. Honesty.
ReplyDeleteWhenever I read personal blogs, I always feel a connection. That's why I prefer reading blogs that are shared more at a personal level.
DeleteSo true! Totally agree with you...!
ReplyDeleteDoing anything extraordinary can lead to extraordinary highs and the risk of extraordinary lows. But at least you get to do something extraordinary! :-)
ReplyDeletethis is such a great post. thank you for being brutally honest. i struggled with the same thing. and now have consciously decided i need to be more honest and forthcoming on the blog, but with a balance. being a natural introvert it's something i struggle with. but im getting there!
ReplyDeletewww.footnotesandfinds.com
It won't be easy. But yes, you'll get there! :)
DeleteGreat post!! I totally agree!! Keep on being vulnerable!
ReplyDeleteYour blog is your place to share whatever you want. I wish you the ability to see the shit in a positive way (:
ReplyDeleteNatalie
usedluck.com
Actually, I do now. Thank you! :)
DeleteI don't know who said it, but there is power in vulnerability and by you sharing that vulnerability....it helps others to know that they are not alone. I struggle with hitting publish as well. Am I sharing too much? Am I too accommodating? Who knows. I put a post on Twitter a couple of days ago and got some negative responses. It was a bit jarring, but ultimately I embraced it. Being able to share your thoughts and feeling and standing in your truth is really empowering. I believe that people can see through BS and they will call you on that all the time. Thanks for sharing your struggles and being true to yourself. Smooches!
ReplyDeleteI've been getting negative comments lately (more like personal attacks actually), but in no time I have just learned to brush it off. And yes, when you learn to embrace it, it becomes empowering to share your thoughts without inhibitions.
DeleteThis is such a great post! I found it to be very inspirational. As I begin to get serious about blogging, I would be lying if I said that I'm not scared of what increased exposure will mean. I even hesitate to make fitness posts because I am afraid to photograph myslef and expose it to the relentless aweful scrutiny of the internet. But you are right, there is so much to be gained if I embrace the vulenerability and fear. Thank you for the inspiration!
ReplyDeleteI think everybody goes through that, when we fear what others tell us, making us hesitate to become true to ourselves. Yeah, you gain a lot when you embrace vulnerability. I am glad this post has inspired someone. ^_^
DeleteI love your line "write like no one is reading!" I totally agree with that. I have been blogging for only a few months and at first was so self conscious of my writing. But i reminded myself that this is for me - not everyone else!
ReplyDeleteWrite like no ones reading- love that! :) great post! thanks for sharing
ReplyDeleteVery sincere and honest post. It takes a lot of courage to put yourself out there and be vulnerable :)
ReplyDeleteI started blogging in 2010. I'm not a good writer and I know one day someone will criticize the way I write. I agree with you, blogging can make us vulnerable. But I have learned to accept that this the consequence and as long as I am happy with what I do, I shouldn't care about what others will say. By the way, I like how you express your thoughts and you write so well.
ReplyDeleteMake those criticisms a stepping stone. I got criticized a lot when I was just starting to write but I didn't let it get to the core of me that I would feel inferior about it (although I did, at some point). But more often than not, I used to as stepping stone to learn more.
DeleteWrite like no one is reading - awesome sentiment!! Thanks for sharing :-)
ReplyDeleteNice post and you have crafted it so nicely. This is the biggest truth of life.
ReplyDeleteThis post is a timely read for me. I've been blogging poetry, and I'm just trying to move away from somewhat 'pretty' poems to some work that's more... real. Your experience of vulnerability being freeing is encouraging. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteLove this post! I have felt the same way. It's difficult to be vulnerable to others when most are so critical! Encouraging to continue blogging though!
ReplyDeleteGreat article! I still feel like I`m not prepared to face all my errors and mistakes with public on the blog. Hopefully one day, I`ll grow as much as you!
ReplyDeleteJust started my blogging journey so this was great to read :)
ReplyDelete