I did not succeed as a nurse. So what?

I have this callous. It’s thick and it’s dark.

Ten years ago, I chose to study nursing because I thought this career could take me to a good life: work abroad, have a car and build my dream house.  One hundred hospital duties, thirty absences and countless pink slips later, I dreaded the fact that I chose Nursing.

I regularly slept in class, I flunked a major subject because of accumulated absences, and I loathed every second of every day of every 8-hour health care lecture. I just do not like it. It costs more or less than half a million pesos to send me to nursing school and I ended up being a disappointment.

No, I do not hate the profession. It’s actually the noblest profession I know. I just hate the fact that I got myself into a career that is not right for me. I know, it is one of my biggest mistakes and I regret it. I survived nursing school but eventually left for a different path.

After college, I landed on my first job as a ghost writer. I was the happiest because I love expressing myself through words. So, I became a writer and earned a meager amount of 60php per 500-word article or 300php per day for 3 months.

My salary was too small that I could not even brag to my parents that I got my first job, afraid that I would only hear endless ‘if-only-you-pursued-nursing-then-you-would-have-a-decent-salary’ nags. But each time I see my articles published on different websites, I am the proudest ghost writer that ever lived. The salary did not really matter to me.

It was a rough start though. But that did not stop me from exploring and discovering what else I can do. From writing, I spent most of my time designing, my first love (i have had an affair with graphics designing while i was still hooked with nursing. lol).

My job as a graphics designer was a roller coaster ride. Many times, my designs were rejected, criticized, and underrated. But despite the negative feedbacks and pressure I get from it, I am breathing and I feel more alive than ever.

I honed my skills, practiced until I started to notice this thick dark callus under my right wrist, and the rest is history.

Am I successful? If by success you mean earning a decent salary, well now I am earning twice or even three times more than the nurses’ monthly salary here. Plus, I don’t even have to feel physically tired, or experience the trouble of rush hours going to work, or get home drained and fatigued. Yes, I earn twice the income and less the stress.

Am I happy? Definitely.

I may have gone astray from my chosen career path, became a failure or a disappointment, but that doesn’t mean that I have nothing else to prove. That doesn’t mean that I would forever be a failure. I risked giving up what I already have to pursue what my heart really wants. I followed my passion.

Will I be rich? Will I succeed?

I don’t know.

All I know is that I’m HAPPY and I’m earning while doing something I don’t even consider a ‘job’.

How about you? Do you love your job? :)